Clinical Journal Entry — April 4, 2025
Dr. Neha Rai, Clinical Psychologist, Gurgaon
Private Notes. Shared here anonymously for professional insight and awareness.
10:00 AM — Session #3 with “Aman” (Name Changed)
Aman arrives 7 minutes late. Not unusual. He opens with a smirk, “Let’s see what I can teach you today, doc.”
I smile, professionally.
Inside, I’m already mapping defense mechanisms.
10:12 AM — Projections and Deflection
He blames his boss for being “threatened by his talent.” His partner for being “too emotional.” His friends for being “jealous of his success.”
Every anecdote ends with him as the misunderstood genius — a common pattern in narcissistic personality disorder symptoms.
But here’s the nuance most people miss:
It’s not arrogance.
It’s often a deep, buried shame — hidden beneath layers of overcompensation.
He was bullied as a teen. Told his emotions were weak. Praised only when he achieved.
So, now, he dominates every room… to avoid ever being unseen.
10:27 AM — A Glimpse of Vulnerability
Mid-session, I ask gently, “Do you ever feel lonely, Aman?”
He pauses. Looks away.
Then: “Sometimes. But people can’t be trusted.”
It’s a breakthrough. Not because he admitted loneliness — but because he named a belief. Therapy can work with beliefs.
10:45 AM — Rebuilding Empathy
We explore how his relationships keep failing.
I reflect back something he said earlier — not to challenge him, but to build awareness.
“You said you love control. But does control make you feel safe… or alone?”
He nods. Slowly.
This is the start of empathy restoration — one of the hardest, yet most powerful parts of healing for those showing narcissistic traits.
Reflections After the Session
I don’t “fix” clients like Aman.
Instead, I offer consistent boundaries, clinical compassion, and psychoeducation.
As an experienced Clinical Psychologist in Gurgaon, I’ve seen how misunderstood NPD is — especially in Indian families, where high achievement and emotional suppression go hand in hand.
Therapy doesn’t reward the ego.
It reintroduces the person underneath.
Why Online Counselling Is Often the Safer Start
Clients like Aman often begin their healing through online counsellors — where they feel less judged, more in control, and more open to feedback.
The flexibility, anonymity, and professionalism of online therapy make it the ideal first step for those struggling with:
- Ego fragility
- Fear of rejection
- Intimacy issues
By Session #5, Aman no longer challenges every observation.
He starts asking, “How do you see it?”
That’s where growth begins.
Final Thought
Behind every narcissistic defense is a person who learned early on that only a “perfect self” was acceptable.
Therapy offers a safe space to meet the imperfect self — and realize that it, too, is worthy of love.
Whether you’re navigating this yourself or supporting someone who might be, online counsellors and clinical psychologists in Gurgaon are trained to help with exactly this.
